Jealousy...everyone is jealous of something...i have cuzins who are jealous of me b/c i live a better life then they do...however i envy them with a passion

most of the people who knows me knows that i can't speak spainsh to save my life...yeah and i'm mexican but i can't speak spanish

the sad thing everyone in my family speaks spanish except for me and my little brother...my cuzins have no problem what so ever talkign to my grandparents or any other realtive

i become a mute when i see them...and it hurts me to not be able to speak to my grand parents...and yet they speak highly of me and they are proud of me

yes i can see my cuzins jealousy towards me but they are able to talk to everyone else in the family and they see them more than me...i envy them b/c of that...
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Just when you think you know urself...ur inner demons come out and try to take control

i tend to keep all of my emotions inside and never let them see the light of day...then they suddenly come pouring out at once leaving me weak and pathetic lying on my bed crying to myslef in silence...it feels like a huge hole was carved in my chest...then after a while i feel normal and go about my daily routine like nothing ever happen...
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thank you for reading this journal...these are just random thoughts that i am having and i need to get them out and what better way than to post on line where everyone can read it and be like "omg that's sad" or "lol she's so stupid" or "wtf emo" the point is who cares what you think i'm just doing this so that i won't have any more mental break downs